PONDERING DEPTHS OF MEANING

Etsy_ pic for site 13

 

TOPPLING TOWERS AND LEAPS OF FAITH

Something has been churning deep within me, a roiling, festering, poison of dread and hopelessness… feelings I refuse to let myself acknowledge, so they pull me down. I need to look at them, recognize where they come from, name them and take their challenge. I call them discouraged hopes for the world, fear of potential destruction of our society, loss of everything through misdirected and mismanaged politics. All things I have no power to change or combat.

On a personal level I recognize an old torment once defeated but now re-emerged with greater power. This is the hateful issue of Money! Financial loss through my own mismanagement and foolishness, combined with external circumstances in a floundering economy and rude corporate-led system that threatens to take away all safe-guards. Falling income and rising debt. Against this, I feel helpless too. I want to give up. I am unable to rouse my interest in even the things I love to do and that give my life meaning.

But I won’t give up. I make plans. I create a strict budget and vow to stick to it. I make do-lists of ways I can earn a little from my web venues, sort through stuff to sell, clear up piles and clean house so I can feel free to write again. But I skip all that for now… one more day wasted… and come up to my computer to write. Writing does help me feel better. Is this a false crutch too?

Pulling myself up from this deep well of despondence__ my sense of self battered by doubts and disappointments, I sit listlessly listing “do-lists” … and I pick up my new 2016 “We’Moon” Journal and lunar datebook.

Absentmindedly I page through the colorful images, daydreaming… and then I stop to read the heart-bending, mind-stopping, deeply-probing articles.

My mind is shaken awake. I begin to find new inspiration… new hope… a re-kindled spirit and re-awakened sense of purpose. I am suddenly full of inspired thoughts, ideas gleaned from the writings of other women of power and spirit… sisters in the hood. My scribbling becomes purposeful. Thoughts pour out on paper eager to be recorded, shared, spoken.

The Theme of this year’s “womyn’s” calendar of ancient goddess wisdom is based on Tarot Major Arcana #16, The Tower… (one I have studiously avoided in my reading of that ageless oracular path, for it signifies great and painful loss and difficult changes to come… and I don’t welcome change I have not orchestrated for myself!)

FALLING TOWERS

Broken promises, shattered ideals, demolished dreams. The wreckage of lifetimes both literal and metaphysical, leave their trails through all our psyches. We have learned to dread and deny the truth that only through cataclysmic upheaval do we experience the transformations that will purge us of the lies we tell ourselves and lead us to our authentic selves.

So…Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall… had a great fall…and all the king’s horses and men couldn’t put him back together again… one of the oldest nursery rhymes we’ve all heard…but consider this: It holds a hidden parable foretelling the fall of patriarchy! The egg is a female symbol even disguised as a male… and the king is the patriarchy that has broken its own source of life, unable to repair the damage without the resurrection of feminine healing power. It is an ancient secret hidden in tales and songs throughout the world.

Kids playing with blocks will build towers and then knock them down with squeals of glee… later as grown men they continue the game by their wars… as evidenced in the rise and fall of civilizations through the centuries… What goes up eventually comes down upon itself to arise in yet a new version… We build these structures of outdated ideals, values, beliefs… or more worldly riches and ambitions. Then metaphysical Earthquakes and Lightning strikes force sudden radical change… an epiphany or flash of insight shows things we have taken for granted are teetering on a precipice… ready to fall to rubble. It will take a leap of faith to escape being buried in the ashes of our own false hopes and dreams.

THE TOWER, Major Arcana #16, in tarot, is the card of Destruction; of Monumental Change with Potential of Revolutionary Renewal. The Phoenix rising from the ashes… The Fire of purification… the lightning strike of regenerative rebirth. It suggests a precipitous walk along the outer fringes, looking over the brink of total collapse… unless we are able to make the “Quantum Leap” into an unknown and newly born future. It calls out the Firebird of courageous faith in the impossible. It demands letting go of everything we “believe” and clinging to the hope of a fantasy… a new beginning for all… not just a select privileged few.

The significance of this symbol for the current year of 2016 can’t be missed…although it can be seen as relevant for the entire millennia … (the falling of the Twin Towers on 9-11-01 being the harbinger of things to come.) We are being reminded that things are changing, and if we do not make the difficult choices to abandon old paradigms and learn to cooperate in creating new paths for a shared world of peace to replace the divided, violent war-driven madhouse we’ve built, our whole modern-day Tower of Babble is due to come crashing down any time now. Sounds impossible… ominous…ludicrous… unbelievable

But the words I have been reading today are not ominous, dire predictions of doom and gloom. They are hope-filled determined re-visions of a better way… an ancient one… led from the earth-loving energy of the feminine roots of spiritual wholeness. A love for our world, for the earth and for each other in all our varied styles of worship and living. A totally re-imagined world is about to be conceived, but it will take much with it as it replaces the old dinosaurs of war and domination with newly hatched birds of peace and cooperation. It promises a lot, but demands herculean efforts of faith to bring to fruition.

While reading introductory essays** in my 2016 We’Moon, I learned a little about Quantum Physics… (never thought I would be interested in that!) The amazing women who publish this magical little annual chose to call this year’s edition “Quantum Leap Year” for this is a ‘leap year’ and they remind us that in a leap year the women take the lead!

But quantum energy is infinitesimal…made of unseen particles and waves mixing and combining beneath the surface of so-called “reality” … yet the changes these invisible energies bring about can be dramatic, and the most amazing part is that we can influence these changes through our conscious observations and expectations! The author of this article makes a comparison with the way astrology shows that “living things respond consciously to the pulse of celestial rhythms” …as above so below… we read our life rhythms within the “context of our place in space.”

Quantum theory suggests the idea for this time is to “go deep” rather than “big” in the changes we make. We can quietly discard the old doubts and rules… the lies we’ve been raised on… and nourish our newly hatching spirits. Quantum physics gives us a new ‘language’ to express the idea of a world without finite constructs, but rather with a metaphysical understanding that our inner and outer worlds are not separate, but “a unified field with infinite possibilities.” We have the capacity to bring our positive fantasies alive in a “re-enchanted world”. Magical thinking, indeed! But we have all experienced how our expectations influence our perceptions and ultimately create our personal “reality.”

So the challenge for all of us now may be to prepare for great changes… very likely occurring as an undercurrent of continuous environmental disasters, political outrages, violence and wars… the “old familiar stuff” we have become so accustomed to that we hardly notice… until they come close to our personal sphere. But if we allow ourselves to look closely at our own teetering ivory towers of narrow-minded ambition and hollow-hearted beliefs and then dive deeper to find the core of our True Self, bringing that up as the shield to carry into the fray, we are likely to emerge with renewed life and purpose. It’s a real challenge to us all.

** quotes are from the article “Is Astrology Another Quantum Quandary? ( pp 20-21) by Sandra Pastorius, copyright Mother Tongue Ink 2015.

About Manywoman

I am an eclectic artist and writer, retired from a 35-year career as a PhD sex therapist and counselor at the University of MN Medical School, Program in Human Sexuality. Since retiring in 2005, I have devoted myself to hobbies and pursuits in various art forms and in writing. My art and writing both tend to focus on subjects of women's spirituality and occult mysteries, I read voraciously in most genres, but mainly Occult and urban fantasy, historical fiction, and non-fiction alternative history and religions from female perspective. In addition I am a lover of cats, with five at home with me; an avid collector of fashion dolls; a sewer and creator of art quilts and other fiber arts; a hap-hazard flower gardener; and a retired professional astrologer.
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